MORE ADDED FOR THIS SATURDAY NIGHT IN HOBOKEN!
Young Justin Adams drew the short straw backstage, and his all too brief encounter with Chuck Payne, the one-time Extreme Redneck, but now full-time solo ass kicker rounded out this week’s Capitol Wrestling TV. As for what’s next for Payne, it’s a Sapphire TV Championship opportunity at June 2nd’s #GreyAlbum against the “last bastion of Southern rasslin’,” the champ himself, The Mempho Mofo. Mofo’s use of Ron Fuller’s Leg Lock has proven to be a shocking and hard-to-prepare for throwback to the days of yore in pro wrestling and guided him to many victories. However, Chuck Payne is nearly SEVEN FEET TALL, and one can expect that the Mofo’s finishing maneuver may prove much less than successful.
Of the many intriguing contests taking place in Hoboken on June 2nd, Rec Spec corrective eyewear wearer Francis Kip Stevens wrestling The Danger Sanctuary’s resident trashbag hipster Ryan Zane is certainly a match that’s at “least anticipated to most wanted” status. It’s been stated by Zane that Vinny Pacifico, his regular tag team partner and fellow Sanctuary member, is “wooing the masses to the ways of ‘disco lemonade in the UK.’ Thus, Zane goes it alone. He’s been a pinfall away from a Capitol Championship shot and his 60-second defeat by Paul Jordane is no longer the fastest in company history by a long shot. Things are oddly looking up (?!?!?) — but not just at the Capitol Auditorium lights — for our resident “Ultimate Worrier.”
After tiring of Portia Vaughn’s “inventive” excuses as to why Luxury Muscles Incorporated could not defend the Capitol Wrestling tag team championships that they’ve held for — at the time of the Grey Album — 435 days, Capitol’s CEO Marcus “King Kong” Dowling has stripped Mik Drake and Stan Stylez of the belts. The titles will now be contested by the new team of Juba and Smiley taking on the angrily aggressive Xander Killen and Eddie Machete of the Black and The Brave Wrestling Academy. Word has reached Dowling that the curbstomp maneuver taught to them by their trainer — and WWE Grand Slam Champion — Seth Rollins, “is due, just like the Capitol Wrestling tag team division, for a ‘facelift.’” No further frightening words were stated by the combination.
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