I hear voices in my head… The crowd popped about twice as loud for Randy Orton’s music as it had at any other moment in the show thus far. Orton’s out now with a mic in his hand. He says he doesn’t want to wait till SummerSlam – he doesn’t even want to wait until the end of the night. He wants a title shot with Sheamus right now. Sheamus (no mic time for him, sadly enough) was happy to oblige, and the WWE Championship match was underway. You’ve seen these two fight this match before – though it’s still entertaining. After all, these two use my favorite backbreaker variations in the world. Yes, I make lists of things like that in my head. Anyway, after Orton hit his usual moves (minus the delayed DDT, which was countered), he went for an RKO. Sheamus blocked it, then connected with the Brogue Kick and went for the pin. Orton kicked out at two, which sent Sheamus into a pretty epic tantrum. Sheamus eventually rolled out of the ring and grabbed a folding chair, which the referee tried to wrestle away from him. Sheamus shoved the ref out of the way (earning a disqualification), then swung the chair at Orton. Orton ducked the chair, then hit the RKO as the fans absolutely erupted.
Winner (by DQ): Randy Orton
No better time than this to get us to spend our money, right? Jamie Keyes stepped into the spotlight again for a short sales pitch for the merchandise table (including John Cena autographed photos). The Bella Twins emerged once more to fire some t-shirts out of a cannon, then we took a 15-minute intermission.
Coming out of intermission, we got our first and only Divas match of the night. Jillian Hall and Alicia Fox fought Eve Torres and Gail Kim. Gail and Jillian managed the biggest botch of the night – I believe the technical term for the move is “hurricanfuckup.” The end came when Fox missed her scissors kick on Eve, leading to a pin attempt. Jillian broke up the pin, but Fox began berating her for interfering. Jillian eventually got sick of Fox and shoved her toward Eve (who gamely pinned her with our third rollup victory of the night).
Winners: Gail Kim and Eve Torres
The Miz comes out with his Money in the Bank briefcase in hand. He cut the most memorable promo of the night, claiming that he’d originally planned to cash in his title shot tonight, but then realized he’d never want to win his first WWE Championship in Tallahassee. If he had to win the title in Florida, he’d only consider doing so in Gainesville, since that’s the city of champions. (For those from outside the area, Tallahassee is the home of Florida State University, and Gainesville is host to the rival University of Florida). After some unkind comments about Evan Bourne, he finished by admonishing the crowd that they didn’t deserve to say his catchphrase along with him. Silly heels… that never works.
Nick was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and lived there until the age of 18, when he decided to pack his flack jacket and move to New York City.
