Stars in Progress: Chris Jericho’s Swan Song, NXT Champions Move Up, Jerry Lawler Moves Down; This Isn’t Even Paul Heyman’s Final Form!

STEP DOWN: Jerry Lawler

The biggest deterrent to me enjoying Monday Night Raw isn’t the childish stories, the goofy booking, the never-ending push to make John Cena today’s Hulk Hogan, or the obvious neglect for midcard stars that should have been main event players several years ago. It’s not Michael Cole, it’s not Jerry Springer, random celebrity guests, and it certainly isn’t a lack of a world champion on every episode. No – it’s Jerry Lawler. 

jerry lawlerKing, it’s time to retire. When fans talk about WWE insulting their intelligence, Jerry is the biggest culprit. If PG story-telling is a slap in the face to intelligent human beings, Jerry is the damn guillotine. I’m sick of giving him a pass because he’s a Hall of Famer, or because he was Jim Ross’ broadcast partner when commentary was good, or because he had a heart attack several years ago and we’re not allowed to say bad things about old people.

Fine. I’m an a-hole, but at least I’m an honest a-hole. 

We’ve seen Lawler blast the Miz for years. So why did he suddenly side with Miz and Damien Sandow this week on Raw, blasting Ziggler and R-Truth? While JBL and Cole at least tried to sell the ridiculous stunt double gimmick, King just acted confused. I bet it was because King was actually confused. I would bet the farm that, in the middle of a match, King forgot who the babyfaces and heels were. Go watch that segment again, and see how he does a complete 180 at the end, and starts jumping on the bandwagon with his broadcast partners, once he finally understands what the hell they’re talking about. 

It’s not just this one incident. It’s every time Jerry yells “WHAT!?” when Cole announces something completely basic. “Two guys are about to have a wrestling match, next!” …. “WHAT!?” It’s every time he says “I’ve never seem a move like that before” when it’s been done earlier in the night, or has become a reoccurring part of the wrestler’s moveset. I swear to god, Lawler actually died when he had that heart attack, and they’ve replaced him with a robot programmed with all his classic video game catchphrases.

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